Thursday, 30 April 2009

Fuck Simplicity

I feel like being nineteen justifies dressing with extreme extravagance and gaudiness so far removed from simplicity and conventional good taste. Which is why on my latest troll through Vienesse second hand shops I emerged with a pink visor, neon fanny pack, feather mask, sequined and shoulder padded blue mohair jumper, gold foil shirt with more shoulder pads, XXL shoulderless button up dress, gold chain with sea stars, huge vest top in bright blue, and neon paisly print tee shirt. Mind you I think there are a few more pieces of delightfully bizarre Euro-Trash acquired but these are all that spring to mind. And of course all this only set me back about twenty euros.

I do envy people that can sum up their personal style in a simple phrase,or possibly even one word. Like 'modern geisha', 'black', 'Victorian', or 'structure'. People who's closets look like an All Saints showroom with every peice entirely related to one esthetic. If I had to sum up my present style it would probably be somethign like. " 1980's English lord's son, takes loads of E, goes through his mum's jewelry and makeup, and all the historical costumes in the attic, then on a particuarly interesting trip believes he is living in 2050 during some post apocolyptic tribal warfare." Like I said simple. I think the big problem is,is that I just wear and possess a dizzying spectrum of clothes that defy explatation under a common denominator. That being said my main look for spring is inspired by tribal sub cultures that will result after the collapse of modern civilisation.

As I write this in the Vienna airport the little boy sitting across from me asked his nanny, " Is that a boy or a girl?" I am only slightly offended, actually I should be flattered. Androgony Acheived! But seriously such a little twat, it's not like I'm a pre-op transexual.


Monday, 27 April 2009

' I was so bored I ate carbs'

The ex lover.
Me, after one biscuit too many. Night in question was not a good one for my face.

You all know my opinion regarding The Ghetto. I reiterate Oh how the mighty have fallen.  It is actually quite sad. There is no way that place is financially solvent at the moment.  I had not ventured to New Ghetto ever since that post Circus revel that left me sorely disappointed, where the place had been deserted on a Saturday night. A combination of credit crunch and bad locale. Clearly the management of what used to be one of the coolest alternative gay clubs in London is in a panic and will try anything to attract more, or in fact any people. This includes spreading their legs so wide it is free entry all night for anyone, cheap drinks (that no one buys, well when there are ten people in a club who can blame them), and a late late license all to no avail. What they should do is get Sam Sparro or some quite big star/dj somehow quite cheaply then charge ten pounds head to get in, provided you are dressed up, if not twenty. Watch the cash roll in. But their latest effort to shock some life into the useless corpse that lies in the middle of Angel-Barbican- 'no where near' as advertised Old Street was to employ 'London's most eccentric dresser' Daniel Lismore to round up his muses, tranny's, and club children from their corral at BBB and thrust them into disco dance dress up party. You have to give them credit for this move.
Indeed, Daniel Lismore was on some extensive Facebook whoring for this one. I am pretty sure a day did not go by last week when I did not get a message about the new club night Disco Biscuit: trashy, horny, fabulous, eclectic, Sunday dance night of your life. Everyone knew about it, at Trannyshack on Wednesday everyone was talking about it. The big problem, no one went.
In the words of my new friend Nadir , " Why did I spend eight hours on these ostrich feather and sequin shoulder pads when no one is here to see them?"
No I showed up around midnight, I'd been working, got done early and thought why not, a little dress up, a little dance with the fabulous Daniel Lismore crew. Quite acceptable. Parts of the Daniel Lismore crew were there, but they were the only ones present. A few tranny's in exotic head pieces, gorgeous fashion students in vintage, and Japanese girls plastered in the foil that was decorating the walls. So at least it was not a repeat of my last ventures, where the few people there were unattractive, at least everyone was somewhat fit and well dressed. Not that this could rescue the night.
I stay an hour, met a jilted ex-lover. Or thought he was a jilted ex-lover until he texted me from across the room (he still had my number, shit! I'm flattered) then proceeded to take pictures and feed me the complimentary biscuits all night. The free cookies were the high point of the evening. Still I didn't think it advisable to just launch into where we left off, making out at Trailer Trash, so I let him trot off with an incredibly short little thing. The music was tolerable and fun but I was hardly worshipping at the alter of the DJ booth and was quickly quite bored, maybe if I had been on loads of coke or something it would have been different, alas I was sober. So I got my picture taken then fucked off.
A decent but misguided attempt at a new club night. Why misguided? Three words Horse Meat Disco. Same night, same music, open later, more people, world famous. Shit Ghetto someone made a mistake.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Give me this!!!

Dior Haute Couture Spring 2004.
All I can say is that I would give some non essential limbs just to wear it for one night. Or to just get that headpiece.

Monday, 20 April 2009

My Saturday night in Video form

Oh Saturday, where to fucking begin.
Slave to Fashion, free champagne, mirror mask, house party invite, long ass bus ride with poverty stricken immigrants, cut hot Czech guy with the edge of mirror mask, he bled, got off said bus too early, trannys wanted chicken, Japanese girls crowed and squacked, found house party (it was just beyond the crime scene), said house party was in a creepy basement filled with inebriated tranny's dancing to forty's swing music. If ever What the fuck was used to describe a night, this is the appropriate time. But it was fabulous, I felt the love for the mask, met loads of great people, lot's of pictures were taken, and videos filmed. An overall success.
Currently attempting to become Daniel Lismore's flatmate. Wish me luck.

Thursday, 9 April 2009

Essex Invasion

" When I go out," my friend Bianca explained, " I decide to either show my legs and cover up my top or show the top and cover up my legs, I don't show everything at once, like that."
We looked across the road where the girls in high heels they didn't know how to walk in, skirts so short the world was their gynocologist, and breasts nearly exploding out of that strapless dress all while the girls made some rude pelvic thrusting motions at the cars that felt it prudent to honk at them. These sort of creatures are a very common occurance in such tourist bile holes as Leicester Square, Soho, and Piccadily Circus but they are headed East. Oh yes much to the horror of the emaciated, narcisistic masses of East London the scum of London clubland: the chav's in their skimpy Primark, Indian men in ill fitting suits, and of course Essex girls are invading Hoxton Square.
I knew we were in trouble when wearing my armour and Grace Jones hood we sauntered into Baby Beach Towel Babylon for Slave to Fashion. An amazing industry cocktail party, that is always free, and once it gets late enough full of gorgeous people caked in glitter, wearing sequined American football pads and a Darth Vadar mask. We had to hit up the Trailer Trash Warehouse rave afterward so we thought it prudent to arive a half ten. It was a bit of a shock. Outside, the smokers queue did not seem to posess anyone of merit. We entered, we found ourselves in the middle of a lavishly decorated dining room filled with businessmen and Essex girls, we went into the basement, more suits and short hem lines but then like a beacon of light we saw Daniel Lismore in some green cape concotion, a feirce tranny in some tight black number, and a gorgous German boy wearing what looked like Gareth Pugh. We ran to them like a life raft shoving our way through the hen night girls wanting to dance to the 'alternative' English pop , fortunately Daniel gave us complimentary champagne we started having a little chat. Indeed as the hours wore on things improved dramatically. By midnight, electro laced Grace Jones was blaring, and photographers were swarming over tonnes of gorgeous gay men wearing millinary, and girls in seventies jumpsuits with fake eyelashes. The Essex crew had no doubt retreated in mixed amusement and fear to the upstairs where they still were not safe, what with trannys on running about fighting over who stole the coke spoon. Fortunately at Trailer Trash there was not even a hint of the West End crowd so my mind was suddenly put at ease.
Until I saw on Facebook that this horrible Kate Hollis who is always inviting me to On Anon, Tiger Tiger, ick, ick is hosting an Easter party at the Hoxton Pony. Shoreditch has been introduced as the next place to party for the uncouth,unfabulous, and unfashionable. So grab your gold dipped fur, and skin tight jumpsuit and retreat deeper into Hackney. Possibly to Images (it will be a while before the Essex girls find that one).

Monday, 6 April 2009

Minimalist Esthetic

After piling on garish neon prints, anything remotely metallic and shiny (preferably gold and preferably dripping in sequins), anything animal print (still need to buy some zebra have tiger and leopard unless you count the neon animal print tee shirt which I was madly in love with on a certain night I did not sleep) my passionate love affair with eighties club wear rages on.
However I like to say it is futuristic clothing, afterall the eighties adopted very futuristic design in all aspects of society from fashion to electric music to skyscrapers, now those strong shoulders and skinny leggings are back and I am embracing them with open arms. In my opinion since we live in the 21st century it's time to start dressing like it. Like Ronke Ihkaria, think Alek Wek in London street fashion, whom I would pretty much give all my fingers to look like. I saw her this weekend at the Trailer Trash warehouse birthday party wearing a shiny leather catsuit, and she wasn't just leaning against the wall being haughtily fabulous in it. She was dancing for all she was worth to that dirty electro disco like secret agent of the future she was.
Feast your eyes on her at (alternatively go to Rokit Brick Lane where she works to see her in action):
But I digress so after spending the weekend in gold leggings, a suit of armour that looked like it had been used to film The Predator. Equipped with this dress philosophy I rolled in from some exotic north London locality this morning in last night's tiger, gold chain, and print hood scarf at the hour of eight a.m. no less. This is what you get for having sex with people with real jobs, but if you can handle the lack of sleep I highly recommend it.
You will be very proud of me, I did not go back to bed when I got home, I had some muesli, watched an AB FAB packed my school bag and prepare yourself, I went to the library. As I was in this library mood I decided to channel some simplicity and austerity. Drop crotch trousers, pointy patent ankle boots, grey tee shirt, and brown blazer, with my glasses (that are quickly gaining London wide fame). Though I definitely knew the strictly business look, looked good I didn't know it looked this good. Two style bloggers snagged me on my way home (which was at three when my body with it's three hours of sleep was begging for mercy and a reprive from academia). Which is definitely a record for just Carnaby and Great Portland Street. The lovely Australian Vanessa Jackman just put my photos up which as someone who vainly trolls blogs on an hourly basis after my picture is taken I strongly appreciate. I really need to work on that. Check her out here:
Now that I have been exposed to the benefits of looking chic, polished, and successful ( basically like an actual adult who has a real job) I think I will definitely repeat some variations on this theme in the near future. For the time being however bring on that polyvinyl, purple Uniqlo creation with hood that would look oh so good with my gold chain...